Updated: Nov 3, 2017
Like seriously, growing up with an extremely discerning spirit I did not have a lot of friends. This is especially since before I knew that I had such a spirit. Being a grown woman now I can say I have friendship and non friendship experiences that run the gambit from as superficial as they get to the depths of many past lives before, depending on your own beliefs and perceptions. I have several examples of deep bonds and just as many of shady characters posing as friends, but really and truly such is life.
At one time, I had a so called friend, we'll call her Monique. She hung out with me, only when it was 100% exclusively convenient for her. A lot of the times it was when I was in her vicinity as opposed to meeting half way or her coming to my side. My mother always did say, "Life is give and take," that if you go to someones house from time to time they should come to yours as well. Long story short, that wasn't happening and as an adult I knew better but always gave things the benefit of doubt. In this case, the rope was too long. See, because while things weren't horrible between me and the so called friend, I allowed the standard to be set low, which allowed her to think this was an acceptable way of friendshipping. It was not and ultimately, I let it go because I felt I should challenge myself to do better in friendship.
Here are 10 Ways, I see fit to be a REEAL and TRUE friend:
1. Show Up! Don't talk about it, be about it.
2. Be supportive! Show interest in your friends interest.
3. Publicise you love and care. Yea, this sounds like relationship stuff and that because it is like a relationship in some ways.
4. Be a person of your word. If you say you will be there, then be there.
5. Fight fair. Okay, so for this one, even if you hit below the belt. Apologise with explanations of the slip of tongue and move forward.
6. Consciously create experiences together. Instead of talking about traveling all the time, make it happen.
7. Call each other out on things. Like if you seriously see a something that poses to be negative and maybe even dangerous in the long run, let it be known.
8. Get to know each others families. RANT: I have a daughter and this so called friend says they are my true friend and never met her. Sorry, this is unacceptable to me, but anyways, ending RANT.
9. Open Up and Be revealing. Be vulnerable with one another. If your'e truly friends like you say you are but you both hide the deeper facts about your experiences from one another, than I have to question the trueness of it all. In the case of that friendship with Monique, I described earlier , I mean C'mon.
10. Define the nature of the friendship for yourselves. Really communicate with one another and make up your own rules.