I was married for 10 years. It had its ups and downs. These are 10 ways I healed from divorcing.
1. I owned that it was My experience and not everything that I am. It was part of my story and NOT my whole story and existence in life.
2. I took my sweeeeeeeeet time! No rushy for me lol. I sought marination in a solo lifestyle. Was it lonely? Sure at times, but one should be comfy alone before being with another. It was necessary to get re acquainted with myself because I'm obviously a new version of myself daily, much more after coming out of the divorce process.
3. I had fun! I traveled. I took classes. I learned how to cook foods from other cultures and dance dances from other cultures. I also read different types of books than I would usually read. I changed it up a bit.
4. I changed my circles. Like, literally to a certain extent I disappeared to a specific groups and environments that I was very used to. I changed churches, my residential neighborhood and I opted for changing my name right back to my maiden name. But, that part was of course my preference, my choice and for my own reasons, best known to me. Everyone should do whats best for them.
5. I got back in the gym! Need I say more about why this step was everything!
6. I Didn't Allow the World to Guilt and Shame Me.
Whether by way of churchiness, self righteousness, social media, friends and networks, I didn't allow the "peanut gallery" to consume me with any fear, doubt, shame or guilt about my experience. This was of course in the long run picture of things. It may hurt and sting when society chimes in on your life, but I knew, at that time and now that the ones that had a negative opinion were also imperfect humans like me.
7. I increased my standards!!!
I feel I have pretty good standards, but now know for a fact, because I gave it time and worked on my self esteem. I remembered and renewed the understanding of my profound worth and stuck with actions that reflected those very beliefs. Thats what we call alignment!!
8. I owned my own contributions to my results in my failed marriage. I realized my flaws and gave each one I identified an a lotted time of mindful reflection and work. This was likely one of the most important steps I took. This is the part in the process people often refer to as making sure one learns the lessons, so as not to repeat them or see them show up again until learned completely.
9. I lightened up! Like A lot too! I stopped thinking so hard and being legalistic about it all, taking it all too seriously. This was of course on the latter end of my process after a considerable level of healing. This helped me in ways relax right into my newfound destiny! I stopped being so uptight about my thinking around it all. I know for sure I resumed a brand new and upgraded meditation practice schedule.
10. I light weight reinvented Myself! I started my blog! I started actively journaling again. Something Ive been doing since my youth. I got back into art again. One of my main forms of artistic expression being drawing. I manifested new interest and innovations on old interest and jumped into them full force!
Hope that was helpful, folks
Love, Ya gyal Fab